In the introductory essay about the Avos, we discussed that there are two aspects of a person’s role in life with regard to maximizing his potential. On the one hand, each person is endowed with natural talents and leanings, and it is clear that he should utilize his G-d-given gifts to increase kavod Shamayim in the world. Yet we also saw that one is not free to ignore those character traits toward which he is not naturally inclined. Indeed, when a person excels in his natural strengths, there is always the possibility that his actions are not guided solely by a desire to fulfill G-d’s will; rather, he does what comes naturally to him. In contrast, by working on his growth in other areas, one demonstrates that he is doing so only because that is ratzon HaShem, not because it comes naturally to him.
The life of Avraham Avinu provides an excellent illustration of this point. Rav Eliyahu E. Dessler, ztz”l, observes that even before HaShem revealed Himself to him at Charan, Avraham had already perfected his trait of kindness. This is seen by the Torah’s description of the people he brought under the Divine Presence – hanefesh asher asu b’Charan, the souls he created in Charan. Bringing people closer to G-d, Rav Dessler explains, is the ultimate kindness. What, then, does the Torah stress regarding Avraham? Nearly all of Avraham’s ten tests emphasized the trait of gevurah and middas hadin, not that of kindness. He analyzes a number of the tests to bring out this point:
The first test, according to Rambam, was that of Lech lecha, whereby HaShem commanded Avraham to leave everything dear to him and go to an unknown land. One of the most difficult aspects of this test was leaving his father. The Medrash tells us that Avraham himself was afraid of the ramifications: “He said: If I leave Charan, the Name of Heaven will be desecrated through me, for people will say, ‘Avraham left his father in old age.’” G-d therefore told him that he was exempt from honoring his parents and that the Torah would record Terach’s death before Avraham’s departure. This conversation demonstrates that Avraham was concerned about acting in apparent contradistinction to the message of loving-kindness that he spread. However, HaShem told him that on this occasion he should leave his father nonetheless.
Another example Rav Dessler mentions is that of the war against the four kings. When one reads about that incident without the commentary of Chazal, it could seem that the decision to wage war and inevitably kill many people was straightforward. Yet that is not the case. The Zohar tells us that when Avraham initially went to the kings, he did not go to fight; rather, he took money in order to ransom Lot, and if that failed, he would die in captivity with him. Upon leaving home, he saw the Shechinah shining before him and several armies around him – then he understood that he was meant to fight. The Medrash adds that Avraham’s trait of kindness again made it difficult for him to perform an action that was so against his nature: “Avraham was afraid, for he thought: Perhaps among all the people I killed, there was one righteous and G-d-fearing man.” G-d assured him that they were all evil. Yet again we see how Avraham’s test challenged his innate kindness.
The command to perform bris milah was another test that challenged Avraham’s affinity to kindness. The commentaries tell us that Avraham was concerned that if he performed bris milah in public, people would consider it barbaric and refrain from coming to his home. Nevertheless, he overcame his doubts and performed the mitzvah in front of everyone. It seems that Avraham’s test here was to realize that following HaShem’s command in the most open way overrode any fears he had with regard to his ability to do chesed.
The final tests challenged Avraham’s connection to kindness to an extreme degree. Rambam counts the ninth test as Sarah’s request that he expel his own son Yishmael because of the threat he posed to Yitzchak Avinu. The Torah testifies that this was a very painful decision for Avraham, so HaShem himself confirmed that Sarah was correct. This way, HaShem showed Avraham that a seemingly cruel action could be the right thing to do.
The final test according to many commentaries was the Akeidah – HaShem’s command to Avraham to offer up his only son. Even on a superficial level, it is easy to understand that this was an incredibly difficult test, but on deeper analysis, the challenge Avraham faced seems almost impossible to have overcome. Avraham had waited and prayed his whole life to have a son who could continue his precious legacy of teaching the world about HaShem and kindess. Avraham had no lack of reasons to interpret HaShem’s command in a more palatable fashion. Indeed the Gemara tells us that the Satan made numerous convincing arguments to persuade Avraham that offering up his son was wrong.
Yet Avraham overcame all these challenges and succeeded in purely following HaShem’s will. Immediately after this awesome test, the malach told him, “Now I know that you are a G-d-fearing man, since you have not withheld your son….” What did the angel mean by saying that only now did he know Avraham was G-d-fearing? HaShem clearly knew that all of Avraham’s actions up to this point had been a pure expression of his desire to do the Divine will. However, it was possible for onlookers to perceive that Avraham’s legendary kindness emanated more from his natural character than from fear of G-d. At the Akeida, he demonstrated adherence to G-d’s will even when it totally conflicted with his trait of kindness. Thus, only now could the Malach say that Avraham purely feared HaShem.
We have seen how Avraham’s path to perfection lay not only in attaining full expression of the trait of chesed, but also in surpassing challenges that tested his natural leanings to an extreme degree. The key to his greatness was that one overriding factor drove his every action – performing ratzon HaShem. That is how he could be prepared to perform seemingly harsh and even cruel deeds – because he knew that whatever HaShem commanded, constituted the moral course of action.
We learn from Avraham that sometimes following one’s natural affinity to kindness may not constitute HaShem’s will. In such instances, our task is to distinguish between feelings of kindness and mercy that are driven purely by natural instincts and actions that are guided by a desire to do HaShem’s will. For example, it is clearly incorrect for a parent to accede to his child’s every request – such unbounded “kindness” ultimately constitutes a form of cruelty, as it teaches the child that there are no boundaries and accustoms him to always getting his way. Similarly, sometimes being kind to others may harm one’s own family. It is very important to have guidance from a Torah authority as to the ideal balance between kindness to others and kindness to oneself and one’s family.
May we all emulate Avraham Avinu in using our kindness to further HaShem’s will in the world.
From the book “Beacons of Light”