Bereishis, 11:5-6: “HaShem descended to see the city and tower which the sons of Adam built; and HaShem said, Behold, one people, and there is one language for all of them, and this they begin to do!”
Rashi: Bereshis, 11:5 dh: The sons of Adam: But then, the sons of whom – perhaps the sons of donkeys and camels?! Rather, they [showed that they were] the sons of Adam Harishon, who was ungrateful and said, ‘the woman whom You gave to be with me’. So too, these were ungrateful but rebelling against He who bestowed good upon them and rescued them from the Flood.”
In the midst of the account of the Tower of Bavel, the Torah alludes to an additional flaw that the nations expressed in their efforts to build a Tower in order to fight G-d. Rashi, quoting the Midrash, tells us that HaShem compared them to their ancestor, Adam who was ungrateful; when he sinned by eating from the fruit, he blamed HaShem for creating the woman who caused him to sin. In truth, HaShem had bestowed a great kindness on him by providing him with a partner. So too, HaShem saved Noach from the Flood and instead of appreciating His kindness in saving them, Noach’s descendants attempted to fight Him.
One may ask that this point about ingratitude seems quite trivial compared to the seemingly far greater sin in and of itself of kefira[i] and attempting to somehow wage war with the Almighty – why then, does the Torah allude to this seemingly insignificant flaw? The answer to this question can be found in the Torah prohibition to marry male converts from the nations of Ammon and Moav or their descendants.[ii] One of the reasons the Torah offers as to why it is forbidden to marry them is that they did not offer bread and water to the Jewish nation when they were in the desert. The commentaries ask that whilst their inaction shows that they were not kind-hearted, why is it so severe that their descendants can never marry into the Jewish people. They explain that their sin was greatly magnified by the fact that they owed a great debt to the Jewish people; Avraham Avinu saved Lot, the Patriarch of Ammon and Moav, when he rescued him from the four Kings. The ingratitude that his descendants expressed by refusing to help the Jewish people, reflected such a great character flaw that it meant that they could never marry into the Jewish people.[iii]
So too, the ingratitude that the people demonstrated by not only not thanking G-d for saving Noach, but by actually having the audacity to ‘fight’ Him, significantly magnified the severity of their actions. We learn from here the fundamental importance of the trait of hakaras hatov (gratitude) and the contemptible nature of it’s opposite; ingratitude. In this vein, Rav Yissachar Frand Shlita, points out that of all the varied positive traits of Gedolim, the attribute of gratitude is the one that we repeatedly hear about every Gadol. One of many examples that Rav Frand quotes is a story about Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky. There was a young man in Torah Vedaas Yeshiva who was not coming to minyan (the communal prayers). The faculty tried all kinds of threats to force him to come to minyan, but it was not helping. They finally went to the Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky zt”l, and asked him whether they could expel the boy from the dormitory. Rav Yaakov gave them permission to throw him out. They told the boy that he was expelled from the dorm until he started to come to minyan. Then they told him that the Rosh Yeshiva wanted to see him. The boy figured “Now I am really in trouble.”
When he appeared before Rav Kamentesky, the Rosh Yeshiva asked him; “I understand that you have been thrown out of the dormitory. Where are you going to sleep?” The boy told him that he did not have any alternate arrangements. Rav Yaakov told him, “I want you to sleep in my house.” The boy was shocked and asked the Rosh Yeshiva to explain why on the one hand, he was throwing him out of the dormitory and on the other hand, he was inviting him to stay with him.
Rav Kaminetsky explained to the young man: “Your grandfather used to give money to the Kovno Kollel where I learned in Europe. Since I was a beneficiary of your grandfather's support to that Kollel, I owe you a favor and am glad I have the chance to pay it back in this fashion. True, I cannot let you sleep in the dormitory because you refuse to come to minyan, but you can sleep in my house, out of appreciation for what your grandfather did for me.[iv]
It seems that the reason why ingratitude is such a serious flaw is that it contradicts the very foundations of Emuna and Torah observance – that HaShem bestowed upon us an unparalleled kindness by giving us life and the opportunity to connect with Him. And it is inevitable that a person who does not recognize HaShem’s innumerable kind deeds will also fail to show proper gratitude to his fellow man. In contrast, the high level of gratitude displayed by our Gedolim is an outgrowth their highly developed sense of appreciation to HaShem.
Notes and sources
[i] Kefira is the denial of the basic tenets of belief in G-d.
[ii] Devarim, 23:4-5.
[iii] See Ramban 23:5.
[iv] Rav Yissachar Frand, Parshas Ki Savo, “Gratitude – A Key Torah Principle”.
From The Book “The Guiding Light 2”