That is what Yehuda does in Parshat Vayigash. Although it looks like a dangerous risk to his brothers, he offers to serve as the guarantor for Binyamin’s release. The word in Hebrew for guarantor is “areiv,” which comes from the root meaning to mix. Yehuda chooses to interfere on his brother’s behalf to spare his father unnecessary pain. This is the nature of am Yisrael. We tend to “mix in” to other people’s business because we care. Here in Israel, you can’t fall in the street without having five other people run over to help you up. Kol Yisrael areivim zeh lazeh, we all intervene on each other’s behalf. This is an amazing attribute we should be proud of. Like Yehuda, we should learn to make other people’s problems our own and take them to heart. Last week I had the privilege of spending a few days in Antwerp, where the Jewish community welcomed me with tremendous hachnasat orchim. However, it was there that I learned something new, the mitzvah of hotzaat orchim, helping guests find their way out. Due to a strike in the Belgian airport I was stuck miles away from home. Luckily, I didn’t need to worry for too long. A very kind Jew drove us to Amsterdam so we could catch a flight from there. Finally, at two o’clock in the afternoon, we took off. It was then that we realized we hadn’t eaten anything since the night before, but the stewardess apologetically informed us that there were no more kosher meals available.
My secretary stood up and went over ask some of her fellow Jews, “Does anyone have any food for two hungry Jewish women?” In no time at all we were inundated with goodies. It was the first time I understood why Israelis carry around such tremendous backpacks! This is who we are, a nation of interferers, people who get upset if your high beams aren’t on at night because they want you to arrive at your destination safely. What does Yosef do when he sees his brothers’ distress upon their return to Mitzrayim without Binyamin? “Vayiten et kolo biv’chi,” he weeps. How does this help the situation? Because when Hashem sees that you are involved in your brother’s pain, he gives you the capacity to alleviate it. Says Reb Elimelech of Lizhensk in his renowned sefer, Noam Elimelech, the word “bechi” is an acronym for “b’sheim kol Yisrael.” If you cry for something on behalf of the entire nation, Hashem will give you the ability to help. It is our duty to show we care, to intervene on any level we can, whether by sending over a hot meal, a nice card, making a phone call or simply smiling. Hashem will then take over and intervene as well. “You do yours,” He says, “and I will do Mine.” The greatest present you can give your fellow Jew is your presence. True, you can’t cure her disease or change her mazal in life, but you can be there for her. Says David Hamelech in Tehillim: “ezra betzarot nimtza me’od,” just being there for someone who is trouble is a great help. Each of us should ask ourselves the question Reuven asked upon learning that Yosef had been sold into slavery: “How can I go up to my father when my brother is not with me?” What have I done to help him out? There are no limits when it comes to helping someone else.
As a member of klal Yisrael, my first concern should always be the plight of my brothers and sisters. This topic is especially timely at present, when we are experiencing so much machloket due to the pre-election politics here in Israel. We must remember one thing: In Parshat Vayeishev, the parshah in which Yosef was sold, each of the parties thought he was right. Yaakov felt justified loving Yosef more than his other sons; Yosef was convinced he was right when he spoke lashon hara to his father about his brothers; and of course, the shevatim were sure they were right when they sold Yosef into slavery. Chazal even tell us that Hakadosh Baruch Hu agreed with their decision. But if so, why were they punished? Why do we still suffer till today because of their wrongdoing? Our Sages answer that the shevatim were guilty because they saw their brother in distress and didn’t care about it. There is never an excuse for ignoring a brother’s pain. Yes, you might be 100% right according to halachah, but that doesn’t give you permission to ignore a fellow Jew’s pain. The greatest machloket of all time started on Chanukah: the machloket of Hillel and Shammai. Nonetheless, they were still meshadeich with one another. Isn’t that amazing? Especially given that the disagreements were over halachah, one might think that the people from one faction would reject those from the other as appropriate marriage material. But that was not the case, because the machloket was lesheim shamayim. The fact that halachah is on your side does not give you the right to hate. It is heartbreaking to know that even as I speak, shidduchim are actually being broken up because of politics.
Isn’t it senseless how people cause others pain because they’re so sure that they’re right? This week’s parshah also contains the moving scene in which Yosef and Binyamin finally embrace as brothers. When the pasuk tells us that they cried on each other’s necks, the word “neck” is written in the plural, “tzavarei.” Rashi explains that Yosef was mourning the two Batei Mikdash that would be destroyed in Binyamin’s nachalah, and Binyamin was crying over the destruction of the two Mishkanot in Yosef’s portion. This symbolizes the pinnacle of who we should be as a nation, crying not for our own pain but for our brother’s. These are the genes we inherited; we are a people that thinks first of the other before we think of ourselves. I wish to conclude with a beautiful Midrash. As part of the elaborate act Yosef put on for his brothers, he accused Binyamin of stealing his gavia (goblet), to which Binyamin replied, “I swear on the life of my brother Yosef that I did not take it.” When Yosef asked him if remembered his lost brother he said, “Of course! I am the father of ten sons, each of whom I named in his memory: My firstborn is Bela, because the ground swallowed him up. My second is Mupim, because I learned Torah from his mouth. And my third son is Chupim, because I did not merit to stand at his chuppah and he did not merit to be by mine.” At that point, says the Midrash, Yosef could not contain himself any longer and revealed his identity. The Midrash explains that this episode alludes to our relationship with Hashem. When G-d hears us mention someone else’s name, when He sees that another person is on our mind in the same way that Yosef was always on Binyamin’s, it is so precious in His eyes that he “gives in” and does His part. When you take out your Tehillim and daven for someone else, when you go through your list of names and have them all in mind, even the ones you don’t know, Hashem intervenes on their behalf, and on yours. May it be G-d’s will that all our cries should be besheim kol Yisrael, and in the merit of our efforts the fast of Asarah B’Tevet will be nullified.